temporarily mellow

ahh, the car is fixed. it reeks of petrol from the can i threw in the back, but otherwise all is good. i was feeling intensely impractical so i immediately drove 20 miles to buy a crapload of plants. money is bullshit, anyhow. cars are ultimately good for 2 things: getting to someplace far away and hauling stuff. i hated being car-dependent in yelm. it probably contributed to the feeling of not belonging there.
the throngs on the street are exceptionally curmudgeony tonight. a small insane man approached me at the bus stop. "why are your eyes glassy?" he asked. i was staring down the road at the time, probably thinking about sex. "i don't know" i said. "i'm as sober as can be." "NO YOU'RE NOT!" he yelled, then started waggling a finger at me and lecturing rudely. "YOU'RE SO SKINNY. YOU SHOULDN'T BE SMOKING POT." as a former pothead, i can safely state that this made no sense. he eventually wandered off, grumbling. the woman waiting at the stop with me was older and well-dressed. we started talking about the bus being late. i made some inane comment about the cold weather. the wrong bus pulled up. "GODDAMN IT!" she exploded. "this is BULLSHIT. i went in earlier" (to the jade pagoda, the sleazy restaurant we are standing in front of) "and had a beer because i was so tired of this damn waiting." i was impressed by how she turned ornery before my very eyes. the bus eventually came. she got on without comment, sat down quietly, and i walked past.
i usually snap when i have to wait for anything without good reason. i am very fucking impatient overall. but seeing someone else reach that point first brought out a rather smug benevolence in me. it is nice, those rare moments when someone else is enraged before the first hint of irritation even crosses my mind. i wish i could sustain that untouchability.