he's a mormon. we're all drunks.

j and i saw 'burn after reading' yesterday. it was mediocre. brad pitt was fucking great, and i am cringing at having typed that sentence.
afterwards i saw spiritualized. i was slappin'-distance of the lead guitarist's ass- and oddly, as it occured to me whilst walking home, i never saw his face. he wears ill-fitting black levi's and work boots, though, and the stage lights made a halo around his dark hair.
they were great until what i imagine was their final song- it disintegrated into a self-indulgent dirge- rather, an IRRITATING FUCKING CACOPHONY- that went on for at least six minutes. i was pushed against the stage- actually, not pushed, for it was a decidedly docile crowd- and watched the audience go from listless bouncing (all one can really hope for in seattle; i am guilty of it too) to bemused atony. it was fucking painful to continue standing there, watching them suddenly suck so badly. and i had a bus to catch. so i left. they opened the show with my favorite song, the song that i listened to OVER AND OVER right after leaving t (see dec-jan 2006, or don't- actually, please don't), and i have very nice video of it that perhaps i will someday post.
but overall: yay! i needed that! yay!
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s called today. she is coming to seattle for my birthday. the whole goddamn weekend! i am so fucking excited. in fact, i am smiling foolishly at this very moment...
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massage school: the first term ends next week. i massage a friend, not a classmate, tomorrow. he is a licensed masseur. i am a bit nervous, for several reasons. and today i had the epiphany in class that the instructors warned us about the first week, the epiphany that i scoffed at. i thought: "i do not want to be fucking touched today. at all." my partner was the class's only smoker and she was practicing on my arms and chest. her breath was terrible and i was feeling clausterphobic. and guilty. the first few weeks of school were full of giddy "wow that feels AMAZING" pap; now we all know how the sequences go, what feels right and what doesn't, and we're all a lot more critical and impatient. perhaps massaging someone new will be better after all...? i still love to give massages. i feel like i've gotten my flow down. i am relaxed enough to sense what they, as an individual, need, rather than just focus on how to do the strokes- because everyone is so fucking different. i appreciate the human body even more now. how people's skin feels, where they palpably carry tension, how they breathe, what their expressions convey- we are amazing animals.
i am using my student id to procure a free hour at this here cafe; i am here all the time. the guy at the counter just said "i am always needing a free massage and i know you need the hours." i am already flushed with my one glass of (prissy, but it's hot in here) chardonnay, but this pleases me.
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at instances like this i must reflect on the nuances of my life and think "overall, fuck yeah."
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... so 'leisureville'? the book about the vast retirement community ("55 years young!") in florida, with the slutty pathos and artifice galore? i doubted its existence. so i found it online. the site is horrifying, complete with a ghastly theme song. i sent away for information (according to 'the villages', the name of the community, i am "evelyn peterson") and it arrived last week. several packets of their various home layouts (complete with screened lanais for 'at home entertaining') AND a dvd that i have yet to watch... i showed the paraphenalia to j. he made a smartass and very accurate comment about the 'racial representation' on the cover of the pamphlet- representation which, i know from the book, to be inaccurate- there were perhaps 6 couples in the sprawling morass of 'the villages' who were not blindingly caucasian, as well as a transsexual who felt extremely out of place.
'leisureville'- it is good and should be read by many people, if only to determine how you DON'T want to age.
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as i age: i just want to be in control of my faculties, both physical and mental, and surrounded by love and thriving plants and good smells. greedily, i think it would take all of that to keep me truly happy.