we watched eileen court get devoured by bulldozers last week. the walls crumpled and dust filled the intersection. it was the one time in the last year that i did not have my fucking camera with me. the detritus is still piled; a block away i could already smell the mildewy wood.
we have been hanging out a lot. the more we do, the more i want. certain people make me feel very fucking greedy. i finally saw 'mulholland drive' last night. the theater scene was fucking brilliant. by the end of the movie only two of the sundry votive candles were still burning.
when i first saw this i exclaimed "wow, i have a styrofoam head too! but i put glasses on my cactus instead." he smiled politely.
i just found out that more people got laid off at work. i am panicky and excited and hyperactive and sad and really fucking agitated... my thoughts flipping between the cruel rigors of reality and the novelty of my lovely little fantasyland.
i honestly don't fucking know what's going to happen next. with anything. sometimes this doubt feels fantastic, but right now i'm scared as hell.
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