sunshine. walking through my slice of the world with my sleeves pushed up. it smells like spring. i was feeling very giddy this morning. looked at pictures from europe. i don't really look the same to myself. it feels like no time has passed.
the solitary dark cloud in my life is my marriage. i want it done, over, forgotten. i am living on borrowed time until everything's settled; i'm paranoid that everything i now have and experience can be taken away. i drove to olympia for work and picked up ($20) paperwork at the courthouse. dissolution of marriage, one petitioner. read part of the sheath in the beautiful sunshine, feeling panicked. the terminologies are both lofty and vague. to file will cost an additional $250. why is it so fucking easy to get married and so fucking difficult to get divorced? shouldn't it be the other way around?
tis better to never marry at all. that much is obvious.
but lest i sound oblivious: currently having only one really crappy thing in my life is a new low. life is pretty damn savory overall.