try me

"always assuming I lay on my back, not daring to direct my viler side toward the nebulous haunch of my bed-mate..." -Nabokov
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I could reread 'lolita' a hundred times. wonder what that says about me...
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I am JANGLY AS FUCK. distracted, unable to concentrate, both restless and apathetic- I want to do everything, and so do nothing. slept for 7 hours- an oddity- with intricate, not unpleasant, unremembered dreams- woke in the same position I fell asleep in. rainbow sails on lake union. yesterday the sun was bright orange. we took pictures from the parking lot at work. "I don't want to be in RENTON when the end of the world comes!" f yelled. I feel so discombobulated- the last two weeks has been very fucking surreal. so much change. I hope I can adapt. my face felt weird yesterday- sleep resolved that.
I give everything second, third, tenth chances. it's not because I'm a naive idealist- though I assuredly, detrimentally am- it's because I would appreciate the same flexibility. and... while I trust, I don't HEED my instincts. this is whimsical when 15, slightly bemusing when older.
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salted cashews, strawberries, "sweet & rough" mustard. not all together. now I think of "nice... and ROUGH..." and Ike & Tina. this is how flittery my thoughts are. it's time to jump on the trampoline.
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tis yet another iPhone entry of staccato phrasings and unedited ballyhoo.