today i saw my mother for the first time since november. we met at oma's new assisted living facility. oma shrinks every time i see her- i'm at least four inches taller than her now. she was slightly sprightlier than usual, but shooed us off after about ten minutes (ours was a surprise visit) so she could go to the on-site salon and get her 'do did. that was an interesting slice of the world... this woman in the corner of the room with something brown plastered to her hair, tiny edematous legs propped up in her wheelchair, braying in an overly loud voice about utterly mundane things; a ninety-five-year-old woman getting curlers placed in her wispy, childlike hair; my mother trying to engage my disinterested grandmother; and oma, small in her pink sweatshirt, smiling vacantly. i was leaning in the doorway, trying not to laugh at the discomfort of it all. i remember oma as spry, opinionated, independent, practically snotty. she was an unnervingly intelligent woman who had seen the world. it pains me to use the past tense. i wonder how much she's still aware of. i feel horrible for 'infantilizing' her, but then does something like answer "she doesn't have a brother" to my question "is this picture from florida?" and i feel sadly justified.
after that brief visit, i followed my mother in my car through the odious bowels of rush-hour tacoma. i am so glad i did not move there. what a fucking shithole. we ended up at arby's. "really, arby's?" i said, laughing. "i'm sorry" my mother said. "there's nowhere else in this traffic." we got liquids and sat in a corner and talked for nearly 3 hours. i learned that my great-aunt harryette's father invented almond roca! fucking hell! why is this not a bigger deal in my clan? 'tis a pity i dislike almond roca- the nut-bits annoy me, and i've been known to scrape them off with my fingernail. the tinfoil each piece is wrapped in provides more pleasure for me. i also learned that my grandfather patented a hand-held wheelchair control after his accident. AND my second cousin r and his wifr n? n's brother m is married to r's sister! "kin" i said. "wow."
my mother cracks me up.
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it's been very fucking wet.

but few things smell better than washington rain. pardon the genericity.

and when the sun breaks through it's fucking gorgeous... soft edged and dreamy.

from my kitchen window... i love having a sink under a window.

sweating off some random debauchery.

did you know that women adjust their menstrual cycles when exposed to the scent of a male underarm? how heterosexist? lesbians have underarms too! i wonder if that is being concurrently researched.
also, peas have 14 chromosomes.
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petal snow!

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