Wednesday, April 28, 2010

butter pie?

...the butter wouldn't melt so i put it in the pie!
i growed this on muh own deck.

flowers are so disturbing- like carnivorous vaginas. my other plantings o' the season have not bloomed yet, but the sunflowers are sprouting... spending money on (outdoor) plants is my current vice. before it was house plants... before that, ugly original acrylic paintings... before that... well, i still buy those other things also.
today went from blue skies to torrential downpour to thunder to unseasonably ass-cold. it's the same temperature in fucking anchorage right now. i want a sweaty summer. i had the windows open today and the heater down because it's almost fucking may and i should be able to do that... and the house was an unpleasant 58 degrees. i remembered those hideously hot few days last summer whilst walking downtown this afternoon- when it was 95 and i was sprawled in the park near my house in boxer shorts and a tank top, because it was perhaps two degrees cooler there than inside my fanless abode. i bitched about that at the time. now i regret complaining... wearing a sweater, fingerless gloves, and a wool coat, the only indication of impending summer being the gnat that got stuck to my face as i walked through a bug-plume.
last night j taught me how to actually knit! i've been trying to use the "knifty knitter" and "pocket knitter" bullshit contraptions and failing miserably. she brought me needles and demonstrated during a slow moment at work. today, after hours of trying to remember her instructions and growing incredibly fucking frustrated at my ineptitude, i figured it out! my current work in progress... it's ugly but it's mine, damn it!

once i stopped fucking up, knitting really was rather hypnotic. i discovered a new radio station yesterday- 104.5- "hits of the '60s and '70s", commercial-free shlock-rock. so i listened to james taylor and barry white and wings and sang along as it rained outside, feeling quite content. give me twenty years and about eight more cats and i'll be all set for a legacy of scorching sexiness and titillation.
it is something i've always wanted to learn. and now i have. this feels really nice.
*
finished 'columbine' and am now reading 'grand central winter' by lee stringer... a random find at the uw bookstore. it's about his homelessness in nyc during the '80s and '90s. it's fucking excellent thus far. the bookstore closed so i'll finish it later. there are a few similarly themed and equally great books i recommend: 'sidewalk', 'the mole people', and 'nightshift nyc' (i think that's the name of the last one)... iffin yer interested in such things. perhaps most people aren't...
he was talking about his brother in the book. when they were kids wayne was a piano prodigy- the author could sense his moods based on how his brother would play- minor quick notes indicated irritation, sombrous chords equalled depression... it was a handy monitor because they never really talked to each other. his parents encouraged him to pursue music scholastically. "what went on between wayne and his piano was too personal for him to offer up for public consumption" he wrote. and i thought, fuck, that's the most succinct way to put it that i've ever heard.
*
emotional things become tainted when made 'for' people.
maybe not all things.
*
my route today, once i tore myself away from the knitting at, shit, 4pm... walked downtown. read trashy magazine at border's. bus to fremont. library, then antique market. fell in love with a song by harper's bizarre- a guy working there used his soundhound app to identify it (i've already maxed out my free version of shazam). went into alley, in the rain, and downloaded the $4.99 soundhound app AND the song. the guy went by. "you downloading it?" he asked. "instant gratification!" i replied. iphones are insiduous! bus to the u district. yerba mate. the aforementioned book. bus to capitol hill to buy tickets at neumo's. walked downtown. bus to ballard, where i am now. not bad for a 5-hour time frame. i don't have dance class until the 12th...
here's seattle for ya.

i love the people's pub. they have free wi-fi, those fake candles that flicker, and the people who work here are lovely. and their deep-fried pickles are fucking delicious. what unnerves me: the place smells like a gas leak and the toilets smell of kraut. the first time i noticed this i thought "fuck, it's a german place, ha ha, they're probably preparing kraut" but it smells this way every time. it makes me think of tacoma- they destroyed the pulp mill years ago but the town, especially near the tacoma dome, still reeks of ass. i used to think, do people who live near there smell it? do they smell like it? but i work with someone who lives in the odor-zone and she doesn't smell of sulfuric pulp... and my clothes don't smell of ass and kraut when i leave this place... i don't think. i hope not.
*
apparently i am typing every mundane thing that crosses my mind.
*
this was today's brief reprieve from the wetness!

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