the sun was shining when i called the movers two hours prior to their scheduled arrival and cancelled the move. my lair was flooded with light and packed boxes when i called my almost-landlord in tacoma and told him i wasn't going to take the place after all. and i went outside, had a cigarette, and felt giddier, flakier, and calmer than i had in quite a while.
it feels so fucking right to stay. unquestionably. what was i thinking? i am a fucking pleasure-seeking doof and it is incredibly erroneous to pretend otherwise. be happy. do whatever it takes. la la la.
...and for the second time this week, i woke up in the alcove of s's room, under a feather blanket, the dawn through the skylight grey and quiet, his arms reaching for me while he slept. i had forgotten how much i needed that, how much i'd missed having someone around.
everything in my life, no matter how fucked up, somehow coalesced into this last 24 hr period, so i must have done something right after all.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment