you know i love you.

bailey-boushay was cancelled AGAIN. we are 3 weeks into the term, with only 7 weeks left EVER, and there was apparently a problem with our class' paperwork. i blame my instructor, a frustrating flake who has yet to return our research papers and business plans from last term (though he has, inexplicably, graded them). m and i saw 'paranormal activity' instead. tickets were $10.50 apiece. "jesus, i remember when-" i started to say, then smiled sympathetically at the guy behind the counter. "you probably get that a lot." he smiled back and nodded.
'paranormal activity' was good. very tense. i love movies that don't show anything. the ending was not nearly as creepy as the end of 'blair witch', but it came very, very close.
*
i placed my first triple lumen central line in, of all things, a fucking basset hound yesterday. triple-lumens are just something i've never had the opportunity to do- i've done singles for years. washington state law just changed the laws for veterinary medicine, so now one must be a licensed tech to set up and deliver blood transfusions; to read and interpret cytologies and urinalyses; to inject medication IV into a non-catheterized vein; to induce and monitor anesthesia; and to place double- and triple-lumen catheters. done, done, and done. placing a triple lumen involves a cut-down of the skin near the jugular (so you're not tearing through leather), catheter placement, dilating the vein with a hard plastic thing, and feeding the 12" line down the vein. suture the thing in, take a lateral radiograph to make sure it's not tickling the heart, and sterily bandage. "yay!" i sang when all 3 ports flushed effectively. it was not as difficult as i'd always imagined. i love being reminded that i'm still not jaded at something i'm good at and used to.
*
i woke up from a dream...
i'm on a beach in australia. it's twilight- the sun has fully set and the sky has lost its redness. i am talking to a guy. he is obviously not local, but i don't want to ask if he's from new zealand because i don't want to offend him.
we're on a cross-country bus together. the aisle lights are on and the overall ambience is dim. we are making out voraciously, bodies entwined, murmuring our life stories to one another. it is after hours of this, in the dream, that i remember the rest of the passengers. they are mostly asleep. i have that familiar, giddy-yet-melancholy feeling of being nostalgic for my life even as it happens- knowing it will never be this open and rudderless again.
i awoke still tired. bleary. abstractly wistful.
*
i met a man one night in paris. we were both staying at the hostel and decided to walk around- he was leaving the next day. we went to the top of the eiffel tower. a scarf had been tied to one of the metal beams and was blowing sideways in the altitude. i remember thinking "this is how any place should be experienced." there is potential for incredible luster at any turn. i was, predictably, sad when he left, even though i'd known him for merely 12 hours. i walked him to the metro station in my overcoat and combat boots, unshowered. and when i left the metro station the sky was grey and the hour was early and i remember thinking "i am in fucking paris and i have nowhere to go."
i went back to the hostel, if i recall, and ate a baguette with bottled pesto, and then i probably walked around and felt self-indulgently morose, and spoke to people in french only to have them impatiently answer me in english.
*
i just went on craigslist paris to see about flats- i do that every few weeks. they are still expensive as shit and priced by the week.
*
montreal is a bit more reasonable.
*
the rubber band is about to snap, as usual. soundtrack: syd barrett "terrapin."
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