am i the only one who sees that?
fall is glorious here. this is one block from the lower campus (the amazing brick annex) of my school.
yesterday i had crippling cramps and left class early. i took a bus to ballard (where i finally stopped to take the above picture), bought some ibuprofen and tea, and met some friends in north seattle. they had already been drinking for a few hours. we ended up at the mandarin gate, a scary-ass chinese restaurant in a strip mall off aurora, in their glaringly lit lounge, singing karaoke. i had not done that in years. i was comfortably buzzed but m, in particular, was trashed. why do gay men become heterosexually swarthy when they're drunk? he was rubbing his groin against my ass. "what are you doing?" i asked, laughing. ten minutes later he was vomiting inside someone else's car.
we sang "summer nights", then four of us sang "build me up buttercup", and when it was just her and i, i sang "fever." it had been a long time since i'd done karaoke... since alaska. apparently a man at the bar was snapping along. i had forgotten how much i enjoy it... especially in complete dives where the drinks are ridiculously strong and made with utter rotgut and i will never encounter any of the other patrons again... unless i go back.
*
today i finished my last swing 1 class; i start level 2 in two weeks. we learned the spin/jump move. "my baby just cares for me" plays. that is a hard song to dance to- the tempo is disarmingly slow- but it filled me with good memories. today has just been a great day. there is no reason for this, nothing spectacular that has occured; i'm just... good. i feel zesty and happy and engaged and alive. i feel like a competent human being, comfortable with my own company. I DON'T FEEL WISTFUL OR LIKE I'M MISSING OUT ON ANYTHING. that is surely a more adequate definition.
i shall appreciate its finiteness.
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