this flower needs some fertilizer

new year's was actually, for once, rather pleasant. met a friend after work for drinks at the canterbury. the place was deserted. the toilet in the women's loo overflowed. midnight was punctuated by a cheery yet halfhearted noisemaker at the bar. "happy new year" he said, and we clinked glasses. i got home around 4. up at 8.30. we went to deception pass, where the wind was invasive and hangover-depleting. the waters there are turbid and teal, whirlpools visible from the bridge with the disturbingly low railing. "i imagine much death has occured here" i said. clouds were racing. birds attempted to fly. afterwards i learned how to lose dramatically at poker.
the other friend got back into town last night. i am excited and apprehensive. i especially crave solitude when i finally have the option not to. was that grammatical? probably not.
i don't do the resolution thing, apart from: happiness. i want to be happy. really, really fucking happy. my horoscope defined 2006 as "perpetual PMS" and 2007 as "perpetual ovulation." arousal of all. a pervasive, pupil-dilating sensuality. tasting colors and seeing sounds and all that shit. orgasms on a gravel road. i think back to this time last year: it is as if another lifetime transpired that i am only remotely familiar with. i never review old entries. perhaps i should. it is affirming to realize that one has, in fact, lived.
c. cited al green's "simply beautiful" as his #1 "ohhh" song, so one night last week when i was feeling decadently, happily lonely, i turned it up loudly and watched nighttime transpire from my lair. i walked downtown after, floating, giddy, loving the whole fucking world. strangers were smiling back. "you will have a mind-blowingly super 2007" i sent him. "i have a feeling yours will be pretty fucking awesome too" he replied. i foresee it having a pretty lovely soundtrack, at least.
enough! okay, so i am more excited than apprehensive.