tail feathers ashake

it has been a week of lightening the fuck up, revisiting vices (responsibly, even!), feeling incredibly unmotivated at work, my agitation renewed this evening by contact with my kin... whom i love dearly, but i am too busy feeling optimistic to be reminded of everything i could possibly be worrying about instead.
this is my first night to myself in a while. it is peaceful and pointless at once.
from the past 7 days:
everything dying or being euthanized at work yesterday, two in my arms.
architecture in helsinki.
calling in sick, cough cough, and spending a sunny thursday hanging out with my work/vice buddy on 3 hours of sleep. that was a fucking good day: toy stores, greenhouses, hot tea, indian food, walking in the sporadic rain.
driving to blaine today, admiring the beast-scented bucolia of nearby lynden, deciding not to micturate on the shirt someone had thrown on top of the pile in the port-a-potty. sunny, hot, listening to french talk radio. i cannot enter canada until i replace my stolen passport.
deer alongside the road.
his friend's dog's "fuck bunny": a stuffed animal that the unneutered dog molested until all that was left was the head and a bit of stuffing. "it was crunchy and yellow."
banana chips dipped in tahini, a variation of the earlier theme.
the 23-minute yes song currently playing overhead.
the construction at my building. they are replacing the deck railing. at 7:30am daily for the last week and at least another. hammering, grunting, knocking down chunks of concrete, having boisterous man-chats. right in front of my window. the building is enveloped, christo-like, in plastic. i have no view, no privacy, and no circulating air. it is rather womblike.
my new work schedule, effective 1 october! sun-wed, 1-10pm! i have 3 fucking days off in a ROW (haven't had a consecutive day off in months, much less all 3) and fridays and saturdays... yay... perhaps i shall enroll in a trapeze class on thursdays.
lightening the fuck up is indeed the key to happiness. i have never been adept at this. but it is getting much, much easier lately, and i am having much more fun.