avoid a void

narcissism (or as i prefer to coin it, 'self-documentation') does not abate at the ER door. while i was waiting for the doctor to return with my discharge papers after my anaphylactic ballyhoo a few weeks ago, i busied myself with the camera.

i didn't feel exhausted.
the last few weeks have been frenetic. the last year has been frenetic. i sat down this evening and wrote out my business plan. it makes sense. radiohead played. leaves slinked across the cobblestone street. part of my plan was "investigate other places to live" but days like today make me not want to leave.
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new zealand was suggested to me. p lived there during the winters when he worked in antarctica. "you'd love it" he said. new zealand has no massage regulation. "i would just sit around and flush the toilet" i blurted out. he laughed. sadly, i was halfway serious.
the idea of new zealand, which i know fucking nothing about (other than that the people i've met from new zealand are consistently hilarious and debaucherous) has left a burr in my brain.
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halloween weekend was slower'n shit. i forget what this dog was in for. it was something nonserious and nondescript. his owner bragged about his other costume, "a karate chihuahua!" with a white outfit, black belt, and red headband, that he would be wearing to a party that evening. the doctor came back from seeing her. "that woman's insane" she hissed, albeit affectionately.

there was copious candy at work and nothing to do. we sat around being fucking hyper and talking about sex. professionalism is purely subjective.
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d got his massage license last week. i dragged him with me to see mum in celebration. i saw them a few weeks after i first alit in seattle in 2002- they played at i-spy, a clausterphobic club on 5th ave that closed soon after. it was so hot in there that i had to stand in the alley, skin visibly steaming, lest i pass out. they were amazing then. this time, at the showbox (all-ages, maybe half full) they were every bit as lovely and ethereal, but we were ensconsed by the bar, drinking dilute rip-offs.

mum would be brilliant massage music.
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i have always wanted to go to iceland. from seattle, it is cheaper to fly to iceland than alaska.
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REFERENDUM 71 PASSED! HOLY FUCKING SHIT! i am incredibly happy- and incredibly impressed. http://vote.wa.gov/Elections/WEI/ResultsByCounty.aspx?ElectionID=32&RaceID=102369&CountyCode=+&JurisdictionTypeID=-2&RaceTypeCode=M&ViewMode=Results shows the results county-by-blessed-county... a sobering reality. i am glad i live on the correct side of the state.

i love catching this city at its flattest and most wrist-slitting. i find it beautiful. daylight savings has shifted darkness to 5pm. what was i doing at 5pm today? i had the fingers of my left hand 2 inches deep under someone's costal arch, in a brick-walled room with round paper lanterns. so, yes, life is good.