i like u. do u like me? yes_ no_ maybe_

i love autumn. last night the air around my neighborhood smelled of garlic (from the greek restaurant) and wet leaves. as i neared downtown the aroma changed to steak and chlorinated hotel pools. it was incredibly windy all the while. today is cloudless and my sleeves are pushed up. spent the morning with workers outside my window, trying to decoupage, watching helix vomit. he is fucking wasting away. for the last couple of weeks i cannot help but look at him through the eyes of a 'professional'; that is, if he were brought into the hospital as someone else's, how much disgust would i have towards the selfishness of his owner in keeping him alive so long? but then he purrs, or what have you, and my clinical resolve is squashed.
the tower records a few blocks from my lair is going out of business, so i bought 2 cds en route to my current locale (downtown, listening to dr. hook, drinking ginger peach tea...): nick drake and eloy, both surprisingly difficult to find in this selectionally discouraging berg.
when traffic clears i shall head to puyallup to see my grandfather for the first time since his stroke... grave trepidation about this, though he is said to be improving... and then to fetch vice-boy for a night of something platonic. oddly, the more my life is clogged with distractions, the lonelier i have felt...
cover your eyes! pathetic adolescent shite! what i want: a verbose, scurrilous, socially bewildered man. tall. my age. odd work schedule. local. marvelous musical taste, fruity-artsy, a litany of bad habits, liberal, cat-oriented, appreciates his mama but doesn't fucking worship her. simply is rather than describing his every trait. accountable. self-aware and self-deprecating. able to drive well whilst receiving fellatio. willing to buy me tampons when i need them. is not a vain, snively prick.
there are surely oodles more. however, i have mortified myself enough, so shall stop. tra-la. whatever.