amid the detritus, peace

i feel very fortunate to love my job. i have been aglow anew about how satisfactory my life really is. little glimpses of how bloody EASY everything can be, or already is... as per usual, the self-loathing apathy-glut of last week has evolved to a sparkly-eyed shrug of the metaphorical shoulders. this feels much better. i am sashaying again.
left seattle this morning cauled by fog, birds a-chirp, the familiar smell of march. by federal way the sunshine had broken through. i was blaring buddy holly. when i first moved to seattle my work commute was greatly dark. time has passed faster than i had expected. feel refreshingly optimistic. i was in the shower yesterday when the "well, duh" thought of life being based on invincible optimism occured to me. i used to consider myself an inherent pessimist, but i now know that to be bullshit. tomorrow always has a welter of possibility. even if i do nothing but sit on my arse, the *potential* for any given moment is awfully seductive.
jethro tull is playing. i have heard so many derisive comments about their ability to perform live. saw them once, ~10 years ago. i sat very far away in an arena with dreadful acoustics- and at the time, i was more excited about their co-headliners, iron butterfly (rather abased about that now). thus, the best shows i have ever been to:
-the cramps at the showbox, seattle. right next to the stage. smacked lux interior's ass.
-phish, the gorge, 2003. the company wasn;t that great but they played 'maze'. (generic flaky soundbite: i really wish phish would reunite! they are fucking brilliant. /end flaky soundbite.)
-damo suzuki and kinski, crocodile cafe. only about 3o people there.
-john fogerty, chateau ste michelle. old people were dancing and the sun was shining.
-projeckt 2, london. bill bruford is incredible to watch.
-peter gabriel, key arena. i got teary. was it the bicycle of 'solsbury hill'? the gerbil ball of 'growing up'? the cheesy prom-night afterglow of 'in your eyes'? the banana split at 13 coins beforehand?
glorious moments of shows that were overshadowed by exogenic circumstances:
-the drunken crush of people at every and all guided by voices show (i rather enjoy my clothes being dampened by sweat that is not my own)
-seeing paul mccartney scream, SCREAM 'helter skelter'. the album version sounds like the fucking carpenters in comparison.
-by the 2nd drink of the savoy brown concert in NYC
-'around the world', cracker/cvb- a song that i listen to and narcissistically feel was written to perfectly complement my life
-david bowie singing 'white light/white heat'
-losing the car after farm aid and having to wait in the rain until the parking lot cleared out

apparently Oma (my mother's mother) is not doing well at all. she'll be 90 this year. i'm going to visit her tomorrow. it is nice to distract from the rigors of reality with "my job ROCKS and i go to CONCERTS la la la"...