I am in the Honolulu airport, very ready to leave. this voyage has redefined my paranoia that shit, maybe it really is me... even though I see other people behaving badly. even if I don't respect the person, I respect the situation.... it ultimately sucked for me, and I feel terrible that my actions may have caused it to suck for them also. it is very difficult to imagine myself impacting anything around me in a long-lasting manner; I ripple, annoy, and vanish. this mindset allows me to behave much more obnoxiously than I might if I actually thought I mattered to anyone. that sounds pathetic when I reread it, but I'm being honest.
on thé bus here i listened to "another Green world" and tried not to cry.