another slice of life-pie

last weekend was hot as the hottest fuck. friday was in the mid-eighties; saturday hit 90. records were broken. it was obscene and glorious and all too short-lived. i walked to the seattle center on friday, since it is right down the hill from my lair, and walked around its muggy desolation. there are plans to completely raze the place and start anew- taking out the archaic 'fun forest' and amphitheatre (the place i met my second ex-husband, under the stars whilst listening to lou reed) and making it more 'user-friendly' and 'environmental.' this being seattle, it will be prattled about for years, perhaps decades, with nothing actually happening. but on this gorgeous day, the first summery day of the year, the place was closed. the rides were still. the midway section was shuttered. there were maybe fifteen people milling around, all sunburnt and touristy, looking bored. it was actually kind of sad.
this is one of the cooler ride-signs, with the obligatory space needle, obviously.

this sign, en route to burien, was awesome enough that i did a u-turn. we could all use such an establishment.

i started avonex on monday. the nurse came to my filthy house and played with hecatomb, who was whorishly performing frottage on her medical bag. we practiced a few injections on an orange ("it has the same surface tension as human skin" she said) and then i shoved a needle into my thigh. needles have never bothered me, though muscle injections do hurt; but as soon as i did it i started to cry. it was my moment of truth, of "this is quite possibly the rest of my life." for 'preventative' treatment that may or may not work, for something that is not curable; for something that i do not currently have any overt symptoms of; that i am not to get pregnant whilst taking, that may cause/exacerbate depression, that i have to preload with advil before administering. i am injecting crap into my body with no proof that it will do a fucking thing to my benefit. and i have proof that yes, there really is something wrong with me, even if i don't show it.
the moment of 'FUCK' passed quickly. the nurse was incredibly nice. and i started to feel pretty good, actually. i feel in control of something uncontrollable. finally. whether it's a placebo or not, i needed this.
i then went to work my 10hr shift.
i am titrating the dose over the next 4 weeks. i started to get a headache about three hours post, popped more advil, and felt fine. it was nowhere near what i'd feared, but i have a lot more to eventually give myself.
i haven't told my parents yet.
i don't know how i will feel the next time i dose myself: i will be alone with a syringe in my hand, without a supportive expert beside me. i anticipate it being a rather melancholy moment. but perhaps not.
the weather is crappy again: low 50s, rainy, the way it always is. i was wearing a scarf and drinking hot tea to stay warm. my only evidence of the heat is the horrific sunburn on my left shoulder. on saturday i lounged on my deck in a tank top, reading a crappy book whilst wearing no sunscreen. the burn started to peel yesterday and, being an ocd pick-happy MORON, thought "oh boy, something to play with" and fucked with it. it is painful and horrible and i am an idiot, and today it has been constantly chafed by my fucking wool sweater.
five days after basking (taken this morning):

it hurts.
i go to new orleans in 2 weeks. the good thing about their summers: you sweat too much for any sun to sink in (my theory), and it's too goddamn fucking hot to saunter much through the midday rays anyhow.
last night i had a too-rare PLEASANT sex dream. i recognized both my partners. i woke up breathless.