i am remembering my dreams again- this happens cyclically, and with a vengeance. last night: i was in a bedroom much like the berth of a ship, softly lit, lamps draped with gauzy cloth like a nautical bordello/preteen slumber party. i had just returned from a long drive, having realized whilst on my way home that i had forgotten about watching j's dog, who had been ignored in my apartment for days. and when i arrived, the dog had completely saturated my bed and mattress with urine. i was starting to clean it when i discovered i'd covered the blankets with absorbable pads- the kind we use in the cages at work- but the urine had soaked through and around, and i was going to have to clean and replace everything anyway... and i woke up panicked, worrying about getting to work in mere hours, and it took me a good two minutes before i was fully aware that it really was all a dream. i don't like feeling late or neglectful. or like i need to clean.
then: i was going to a hunting lodge with s, dark dead of winter, on a road in alaska that does not exist but that has been represented in several of my dreams (i have an alternate universe of familiar loci- my own sim city of irrelevance).
we were both in wonderful moods, laughing about how we don't even ski or hunt and we should probably just hang out at the bar under the antlers. we stopped on the way at a brightly lit service station. yes: it was a toilet dream. I ALWAYS HAVE DREAMS ABOUT TOILETS! (the micturating dog in the former was merely a precursor.) this has been my theme since i can remember: not a need to use the loo, or really anything to do with urine or feces or whatnot; no, it has always been a quest, a seeking, and always to public facilities, and always with something terribly wrong. i have to walk through a labryinth or along crumbling brick barrier walls, for example. or the bowls have been smashed. or the floor is covered in six inches of water and there are spraying pipes jutting out from the ceiling. on a curious note, i just realized that: in all my toilet dreams, i have yet to encounter a toilet that is actually clogged; rarely is the water anything but water (thus making the environment only unclean in a faulty-plumbing sort of way, not in a human waste free-for-all); and when i wake up from these dreams, i never have even the slightest urge to run to the loo (and nor have i already gone, if it need be said.)
this has gone on long enough, been weirdly consistent (in its bizarre inconsistency) long enough, and been a gross topic to dream about for long enough that i have consulted several dream guides to tell me i'm not a freak. and lo, i am not. perhaps i have already written about this sometime prior... dreaming of toilets (in their natural, unclogged, no-personal-physical-hardship-attached state): "symbolizes a release of emotions or getting rid of something in your life that is useless." (thank you, dreammoods.com)
i know that dream analysis is complete and utter bullshit, but i like this assessment quite a lot. like a fortune cookie, i shall bend its meaning to make my reality seem a bit more sane.
anyhow: the dream ended with me eating "just veggies", that fucking delightful freeze-dried vegetable crack that comes in the little plastic bucket with the pictures of smiling tomatoes and carrots. s came over and asked what it was. "ooh, i've just had the fruit kinds before," she said. we got into an animated discussion about the various flavors of their products when i woke up.
this really is the kind of mundane crap i dream about. i probably shouldn't even admit it.
and i can see us having exactly that conversation. it makes me smile now.