i saw my parents last night for the first time in months, the first time since my father and i got into an ugly fight in august. i drove to tacoma after school, sucking on nicorette, stuck in holiday traffic. (the further south of seattle, the larger and more breeder-y the vehicles become. rattier, too. it makes me homesick.) my trepidation abated as we talked. it stayed fairly blithe- there was no delving into feelings, aspirations, regrets. thank fuck.
my mother went to a sleep clinic a month or so ago and was diagnosed with severe sleep apnea. she was monitored overnight and found to stop breathing around 20 times-at one point her SPO2 didn't register for "an hour." is that even possible? my parents, beers in hand, insisted it was so. "what about organ death?" i asked. "i wonder how many brain cells she's lost!" my dad said cheerily. "it would explain a lot." my mother laughed at that. i smiled politely (inwardly: dammit, be nice). apparently sleep apnea can lead to heart attack and stroke, both of which eventually killed my grandfather- her dad. they asked me if i snore. "i don't think so" i said. it is unclear if it's hereditary- my mother's condition is caused/exacerbated by "an overly large uvula". the most horrifying part: she now wears a mask to bed. it looks like a gas mask with a tube coming off the mouth. it wraps around the head and chin with a wide strap. she showed me pictures of her modelling it. "i call her snuffulupagus!" my father said.
they were both in good moods, which helped enormously. the thing with my folks: i adore them. they are wonderful people... except when they're not. my mother is pretty consistent in temperment (at least, more so than she used to be) but my father is not. have i been on edge, worrying about his mindset, my entire life? it would explain a lot. even if apnea isn't hereditary, neurosis certainly is. in any case, yesterday turned out better than i expected.
*
tiresias, about 10 minutes ago:

the christmas cactus is blooming. these guys are amazing. the flowers look like they're vomiting themselves new petals.

and it's thanksgiving in l'america. this was the amount of consumeristic shit that came with the morning paper. the hallmark of the united states: is it greed, blind optimism, banality, or all of the above?


i love working on holidays. it gives me a way to pretend i'm not sentimental.

aftermath

it was the best weekend i'd had in months. i had forgotten how it feels to laugh uncontrollably. i miss her too much to get terribly verbose. and i am very fucking fortunate to have such a brilliant friend.
in lieu of the hedonistic images that are currently up on, omg, facebook, some reminders as to why i live in a city that is fantastic in every way apart from having my best friend thousands of miles away...
fog, last week, drowning elliott bay. cars were lining the road to take photographs.

we drank the bottle of dom perignon that t bought for our divorce. the bottle has sat in my fridge, among the nail polish and ms meds, for over 2 years. it was tasty. he bought it for $140 on sale. we drank it on my 30th fucking birthday as the sun receded over capitol hill. the 'velvet goldmine' soundtrack played in the background.

mount rainier is an elusive beast. even when seemingly bombastic to the naked eye, it is nearly impossible to capture on film. this was the only one that turned out. we were back in west seattle en route to the airport.

...and the same skyline, same vantage point, as before. even out of focus, seattle is pretty enough to make me cry.

i have had insomnia today, awake since 430am. i saw the sun rise. the sky was magenta, then the sunshine poured in.

out of the black, into the blue

i cried whilst voting. and i went back after taking this picture to darken the ink even more.

as i left school on november 4th, this was the view. it was only 7pm EST. i went home, blared david bowie, and jumped on the trampoline.

a window on capitol hill that night:

and the lusty lady, november 5:

...later november 5, as i was going home, the bus i was on was sideswiped by a lexus SUV in the intersection of 3rd and battery. the driver of the vehicle took off on foot. the lexus was still running, windsheild wipers on. the 8 or so of us on the bus had to stay aboard until we could give our personal information. the police arrived with a tracking dog. when we were finally allowed to leave, the tow truck was just pulling up.

it has rained nearly 5 inches over the last 3 days... and all i can think about is how fucking wonderful everything smells. the world is shiny and new.

*snake in post*

this juxtaposition was so lurid that i had to do a u-turn. 'twas a beautiful day on aurora avenue.

jethro the corn snake. he can suck down 3 hopper mice in about four minutes. even my coworkers were appalled that i took this picture. "he's a pretty snake, though" one said politely.

last night at work a ~45kg lab presented with abdominal pain and a hisory of eating stupid shit. he was at the clinic one month prior for choking on a lamb bone. i will never, ever own a lab.
these were his radiographs:


an exploratory surgery recovered a 14" slab of rawhide, still in the stomach, fully intact apart from minor teeth marks at one end. and some grass. we were all mystified as to how that came to be. how does one swallow an unchewed, 14" solid object? and why? it was rather flexible, but still. the doctor had to fold it in half to pry it out of the gastrotomy incision.
here it is, post-op, with my hand for scale:

...we are being timed for school. i did my first full-body swedish-massage-in-an-hour yesterday... and then heard 'right here right now' on the radio.

la belle nuit

downtown:

on my street, near seattle center:

capitol hill:

inside a partially demolished apartment building on first hill:

tiresias v. the stairs:


words shall soon follow.

oxidizing

here are j and i, waiting in line (and getting carded!) at the amateur porn screening yesterday morning, on the stranger's blog. my hair is still wet from the shower. as a whole, everyone in line looks fairly miserable for being on the threshold of much tantalizing copulation. it was, after all, only 11:30am.
http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/10/early_morning_humping
the videos were great. my favorite was 'edged.' orgasm denial is fucking hot.
*
outside the central market:
yesterday en route to work, along green lake: (yes, i was driving at the time)

and a big ol' plate o' happy at the 5 point cafe! this place has always been great. the bartender gave me a tampon because the machine was broken; as i was entering the women's loo a drunk old man came stumbling out. how can i justify eating food in an establishment where i am forced to hover over the toilet seat? because it is delicious. and near my lair. and they have shit like uriah heep on the jukebox.

today i had a fortune cookie that said "you will soon vacation in a cooler climate."...

a different kind of blue

yesterday four of us gathered for a massage-o-thon. we are to give 25 and receive 12 by the beginning of december. it is a hard life. at said -thon was someone i worked on near the beginning of school. "you are so much better now!" she said. "this is amazing." my strokes feel right. i am much more confident now... and i fucking LOVE myofascial work. someone last week called me "the friction queen." that shall be the title of my next pornographic feature.
i am home, purposely skipping a meeting at work, watching rain slam sideways into the window. things are going well. i like where my life is drifting.
iconic, seen through the window of the night bus. circa 9pm the streets of downtown seattle turn seedy. i love it. the overhead light of office workers and tourists gives way to the dank kitchen denizens of the night. wet sidewalks help.

last week m and i wandered around like tourists. the moon was full. later that evening i went blues dancing for the first time. it was fun... despite not knowing any steps. a knowledgable partner is paramount.
urban wildlife atop the arches at pacific science center:

he had never been to the sculpture park. so we went. this piece is from 1967. i love reflective pieces- the sculpture becomes a medium for the REAL art of the SURROUNDINGS, or something. like the bean in chicago- that fucking blows my mind- it is a liquid medium in solid form.

inside the smaller spray is a sculpture of a boy with his arms stretched out. this sculpture breaks my heart.

mediocre open-mic...

i have been listening to mitch hedberg in my vehicle. he discusses popular songs that lose their intended message when utilized in certain situations. he starts singing 'we are the world' and says something like "you remember that song? when i fucked you in the pet cemetery?" i keep recalling this at horribly inopportune times. i was at the store and started laughing in the middle of the cat-food aisle.

there is only one thing missing

...and without it nothing else really fucking matters.

the undercurrent

i took a stroll through the indian summer.
a window along airport way:

an abandoned building. the foliage along the sides was inundated with wood spiders dangling at eye level. there was a setup amid the shrubbery for a cat- a box surrounded by food tins and a water dish. i was touched by that. it reminded me of the medinas of tunis.

the underpass of airport way:

inside the rainier cold storage building, through the window. this has always been one of my favorite structures in seattle. there are 'proposed land use' signs all over it- soon to be demolished. this is another scene i shall fantasize about- someone set that chair there and what- stared out at the sunshine? read a book? was straddled? wept?

rainier cold storage from the street. the original rainier brewery was fully demolished this summer- i have pictures on here somewhere from when it was first bulldozed and people left flowers in the fence in mourning. progress... i took a crumbly stone from the dusty remnants yesterday- to put beside my warped crowbar from the kingdome.

the vacuum/bible purveyor on 4th south:

cleanliness is next to g- never fucking mind.

class

in pioneer square, i was stared at by several elderly tourists whilst taking this picture.

next to the railroad tracks in ballard:

the (partial) spoils of a coworker's going-away party:

*
my very first boss was a screamingly Pseudo-Sensitive teva-wearer at AkPIRG. he had long luscious hair and a tattoo on his foot. his catchphrase was "so sayeth the shepherd..." whereupon we, the employees, would reply "so sayeth the flock." it was all very sarcastic. i was only fifteen and didn't find it especially amusing. but it is a phrase that, years later, gets stuck in my head ALL THE TIME, at least a few times a week... and it is here now... entirely inconsequential but i am sharing it anyhow.

fate has a funny way

i passed my first-term finals.
i saw dr dog.
my bank collapsed.
*
i am mortified to be from alaska... rather, i am ashamed that such ignorance, such arrogant bush-minus-penis BULLSHIT is being rendered synonymous with the land that reared me. between palin's fucking idiocy and ted stevens' bastardly glower, you'd think everyone from alaska is a chaw-chewin', gun-wrangling, meth-cookin' bible-thumping hick. i mean, fuck- replace the rifles with pistols and you may as well be describing 95% of washington too. although in washington you get surly looks if you don't recycle...
this was downtown, wednesday... a little gathering of earnestness. there was even a news crew there, which seemed silly.

i don't have a television, so i watched the ubiquitous katie couric foreign-policy interview on the library computers. i couldn't help thinking "jesus, that sounds like something i would say when i have no fucking idea what i'm talking about." i almot feel sorry for her, which immediately reminds me: if she was a he, would i have that (admittedly VERY WEAK) glimmer of empathy? no, absolutely not. i am a sexist asshole like everyone else.
on a related note, i love david letterman a little more after this week.
*
dr dog... OH MY GOD. they were so very, very good. it was a wholly glorious night. i had been waiting a long time to see them. delta spirit and hacienda opened. i have lengthy (and almost unwatchably jostly) video of most of it, again rendered untransferable due to my pithy connection.
we were squashed in the back. this is a horribly unfocused picture of half the band.

and the lead singer, the growly one, gettin hisself all sweaty.

on the sidewalk of my street:

and another art window on broadway:

i have a week off from school. next term: kinesthiology and myofascial work. i may take the train to portland, or not. fall is always my favorite season...

...so he wiped his ass with the rabbit

blogger and videos do not coexist. this is an extremely frustrating and time-consuming lesson. my poorly edited videolas, therefore, shall remain for my eyes only.
the lead singer of spiritualized, who did not address the audience at all. nor did he take off his sunglasses. blurriness is his comeuppance.

several blocks of businesses along broadway are vacant (including the hostel/doss house i stayed at when first arriving in seattle in 1996), awaiting demolishment for the new light-rail station. they have become a series of rotating art exhibits in the meantime. it is fucking awesome. some are inside the storefronts. this is attached to the old jack in the box.

vincent bugliosi, looking very fucking old.

walking home. this is at the top of itchykoo park/toker's paradise (the actual municipal moniker is "bhy krake park", honestly) next to my lair. it is a happy place. the vantage point makes me feel like i've done something right...

the first term of school ends next wednesday. i am startled at how much i know- and horrified by how little i still retain.
listened to 'renaissance' on lp this morning. the sky has been a hazy orange hue today- forest-fire gold and muggy as fuck. it was almost 80 degrees earlier: people in summer garb, sillouhetes against the sidewalk. 'twas a waking dream.